Building Good Habits: My Messy, Honest Journey

Why Are Good Habits So Darn Hard to Build?

Okay, let’s be real. We all know we *should* be doing certain things. Eat healthier, exercise more, read more books, doomscroll less. But actually *doing* them? That’s where things get tricky. I’ve spent years trying to build good habits and, honestly, it’s been a rollercoaster. Mostly downhill, if I’m being completely honest. It’s like trying to herd cats, except the cats are all my bad impulses and the shepherd is my willpower, which is usually asleep on the job. I’ve read countless articles, watched motivational videos that left me feeling hyped for maybe an hour, downloaded apps that promised to revolutionize my life…and then promptly forgot about them. Sound familiar?

I mean, who even *wants* to get up early to go to the gym? I’d much rather sleep in until the last possible minute and then frantically rush to get ready for work. Or choose a salad over pizza? Come on! Pizza is delicious. So, yeah, I understand the struggle. It’s not about a lack of knowledge, it’s about a lack of consistent action. It’s about fighting against our natural inclination to choose the easy, pleasurable option in the short term, even if it’s detrimental in the long run. And that, my friends, is exhausting. Maybe that’s why I kept failing. And that’s where I started to realize I needed a different approach.

My Biggest Habit-Building Fail (And What I Learned)

I remember one time, I was determined to start meditating every morning. I downloaded this super popular meditation app, set my alarm for 6 a.m. (ugh), and envisioned myself becoming this zen master, all calm and centered. Day one went okay. I managed to stumble out of bed, fumble with the app, and sit through a 10-minute guided meditation. Day two? Not so much. I hit snooze repeatedly, and by the time I actually woke up, I was already running late. I told myself I’d meditate later, but of course, “later” never came.

This went on for a few more days, and then I just completely gave up. I felt like a failure. I mean, how hard could it be to sit still for 10 minutes? But looking back, I realize I made a classic mistake: I tried to do too much too soon. I went from zero meditation to 10 minutes every day, which was a huge jump. And I didn’t really have a clear “why.” I just thought I *should* meditate, not because I actually wanted to or saw a tangible benefit. That’s the thing, isn’t it? You have to want it. You really, *really* have to want it. Otherwise, it’s just a matter of time before your motivation fades and you’re back to your old ways. And maybe, just maybe, that’s okay too. At least you tried, right?

Small Steps, Big Changes: My (Slightly) More Successful Approach

So, after countless failed attempts, I decided to try a different strategy. Instead of aiming for massive transformations, I focused on tiny, incremental changes. I mean, *really* tiny. Instead of going to the gym every day, I started with just walking for 15 minutes three times a week. Instead of giving up sugar completely, I just cut out sugary drinks. And instead of trying to meditate for 10 minutes every morning, I started with just one minute. Yes, one measly minute.

The funny thing is, it actually worked! Because the changes were so small, they didn’t feel overwhelming or difficult. It was easy to stick with them, and over time, they started to add up. That 15-minute walk turned into a 30-minute jog. Cutting out sugary drinks led to eating healthier in general. And that one minute of meditation? Well, I’m up to five minutes now, which is still not exactly zen master level, but it’s progress! The key, I think, is to make the habits so easy that you can’t say no. And to be patient with yourself. There will be days when you slip up, and that’s okay. Just don’t beat yourself up about it. Just get back on track the next day. I found the app “Streaks” helpful for tracking the really small things.

Forgiveness is Key (Seriously!)

Let’s be honest, building good habits is a marathon, not a sprint. There will be days when you completely fall off the wagon. You’ll eat an entire pizza, skip your workout, and spend hours mindlessly scrolling through social media. Ugh, what a mess! But the important thing is not to let those slip-ups derail you completely. It’s so easy to fall into the “I already messed up, so I might as well give up” mentality. But that’s a trap. You just need to forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes, and get back on track.

I mean, I still have days when I struggle to stick to my habits. But now, instead of feeling like a complete failure, I just acknowledge it, remind myself that it’s okay, and recommit to doing better the next day. It’s all about progress, not perfection. And remember to celebrate your wins, no matter how small they may seem. Did you manage to drink enough water today? Awesome! Did you resist the urge to order takeout? High five! Every little victory counts. And every step you take, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction. Building good habits is hard, yeah, but so worth it.

If you are struggling with this maybe look into some of the advice other people have given on the matter. It could really help.